Say
by Raven09
Summary: Addison/Mark - A collection of moments... Read. Review. Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

He's sitting on the edge of the bed in the hotel room, her hotel room, where he had spent the night. Her last night. She's attaching her earrings and checking her makeup in the mirror. Her suitcase is by the door. He catches her eye in the mirror.

"Addison..." he begins.

"Don't. Mark." She cuts him short. "Take care."

And he knows that she's only moved towards the door because she can't bear to look at him and hear what he has to say.

The door closes with a click behind her, and he says it to an empty room.

"I love you."

And on the other side of the door she hears him...

"_Even if your hands are shaking  
And your faith is broken  
Even as the eyes are closing  
Do it with a heart wide open_"

Say what you need to say...

– "_Say", John Mayer_


	2. Chapter 2

The only thing that she's glad about is that she can hear the sound of her Prada heels clicking on the tiled floor of the airport. It's that rhythm that's keeping her going. At least when she gets to the desk to check her bag and collect her ticket she'll have to interact with another human being and as such not be allowed to stop and think. Thinking is bad.

_Click-Clack. Click-Clack. Click-Clack..._

But then she gets to the desk; and the 6 people queuing at it. Inwardly she curses.

And then she starts thinking.

She tries to think of anything else than the most desired sentence in the English Language and the person that had said it to her.

Later, after buying unnecessary items from the various shops within the terminal, and a glass of wine, she is finally on the aeroplane.

Going to Los Angeles.

Closing her eyes in an attempt to ignore the screaming child three rows behind her (why some people insist on flying Business Class with small children is beyond her comprehension) she can see his eyes, his smile. In her ears is the way he whispers her name, almost purrs it.  
And then there are those three words. Eight letters. Three syllables.

Addison Montgomery shook her head.

"_No! No more Mark Sloan!_" the voice in her head protested.

But he was still there. He always would be.

"_However far away,  
I will always love you.  
However long I stay,  
I will always love you.  
Whatever words I say,  
I will always love you.  
I will always love you."  
- "Lovesong", The Cure_


	3. Chapter 3

He's still there an hour and a half later. He hasn't touched the mini bar yet, but it's beginning to call to him. He's showered but he can still smell her all over him, and it's making him angry. He should be at work. His pager beeps and his phone rings, and he ignores them both.

He wants to leave. He really does, but Addison is still with him when he's in this room. He knows her scent will disappear once he's out of the room, and he's not ready for that yet. Frustrated he puts his head in his hands and rubs at his eyes with his palms. Addison's face is all he sees.

Grabbing his faithful leather jacket he stands and makes his way to the door. He's halfway to the elevator when he hears it click closed behind him. He winces and decides to take the stairs.  
Reaching the lobby he practically throws the key at the woman behind the desk and storms out into the rain.

Mark Sloan hates the rain.

He can't smell Addison anymore.

"_She leads me through moonlight  
Only to burn me with the sun  
She's taken my heart  
But she doesn't know what she's done"  
- "She's Like The Wind", Patrick Swayze_


	4. Chapter 4

_Columbia. That's where Derek Shepherd had first introduced Mark Sloan to Addison Montgomery and Addison Montgomery to Mark Sloan...._

_It had been a Saturday. The leaves were just beginning to fall from the trees and Addison Forbes Montgomery was struggling. Teetering on dangerously high heels she carried a box that was overflowing with books up the small fight of stone steps that lead to the dormitories that she lived in. Struggling to reach the door handle she didn't notice the dark haired man behind the glass until it was too late._

"_I'm so sorry! Are you ok there?"_

_Addison looked up at Derek Shepherd from the floor, books scattered around her._

"_Ouch!"_

"_Let me help you." Derek knelt beside her and began putting her books back into the box._

"_Thanks...umm...?"_

"_It's Derek." The dark haired man replied, smiling shyly at her and extending his hand._

"_Addison." She shook his hand and smiled._

_They collected the books in silence and Derek helped her up. He then knelt to pick up her box of books._

"_Oh no! You don't ha-"_

_Derek raised an eyebrow at her and Addison grinned, permitting him to lift the box and turn to the door. Once inside he followed her up three flights of stairs to her dorm room. She gratefully took the box from him, blushing slightly as he leant against the wooden doorframe smiling at her._

_That's where Mark found them._

"_Are you going to stand there grinning like an idiot or introduce me to your foxy new friend, Shep?"_

_Mark Sloan ran an appreciative eye over the red-haired girl that had his best friend captivated, winking at her when she caught him looking. Addison snorted._

"_Derek, is your friend always this... umm... interesting?" she chuckled._

_Derek rolled his eyes and turned to Mark._

"_Unfortunately so. Addison, this is Mark. Mark this is Addison."_

_Addison looked at the taller man and he smirked at her._

"_Nice to meet you Mark."_

"_Likewise."_

"Now men will want her,  
'Cause life don't haunt her.  
Almaz, you lucky, lucky thing..."  
- "Almaz", Randy Crawford


	5. Chapter 5

"_Who says medical students don't know how to party?" Addison questioned the two men stood beside her before swigging from the bottle of tequila that she held in her perfectly manicured hand._

_Mark Sloan chuckled and Derek shot him a look._

_The room was smoky and filled with very drunk medical students. Apparently they did know how to party. A song drifted towards them that Derek hated._

"_De-rek?" Addison looked at her boyfriend questioningly, the alcohol in her system making her elongate his name as it rolled off her tongue._

_Derek rolled his eyes. "No Addie, you know I don't dance."_

"_Please?" she pouted, swaying slightly in her heels._

"_Go on, Shep." Mark encouraged, taking a swig of his beer and giving his best friend the infamous McSteamy grin._

"_Don't encourage her Mark." Derek growled warningly._

"_Mark!" Addison's face lit up._

"_Oh no! I can't dance Addie...."_

_Derek chuckled. "Go on, Mark."_

_Before he could protest any further Mark Sloan found himself being dragged to the middle of the room by the inebriated red-head. He stole a pleading look at Derek, who waved at him._

"_Bastard!" he muttered through gritted teeth as Addison began to dance..._

_Half an hour later Mark had managed to untangle himself from Addison and found himself a beer and a blonde to get better acquainted with._

"_So who was that red-head you were dancing with?" Melanie purred, stroking his arm. "You're not here with her are you?"_

_Mark chuckled. "No, Addison's a friend; she's Derek's girlfriend."_

"_She looks drunk to me." The blonde replied, looking over his shoulder._

_Mark turned, following her eyes. Addison was propped up against a wall and being leered over by a tall dark haired man that obviously wasn't Derek. Mark's eyes narrowed and he quickly scanned the room for a glimpse of his best friend._

"_Damn!" he muttered. "Excuse me, I'll be right back." He flashed a knee weakening smile at the blonde before pushing his way through the crowd of drunken students towards Addison and her new 'friend'._

"_You ok there Addie?" he enquired when he reached them._

_The dark haired man glared at Mark. "We're fine, thanks." He growled._

_Mark ignored him. "Addie, where's Shep?"_

_Addison shrugged, "I don't know, this Mark... This is..."_

"_Phil." The stranger interjected._

"_Well Phil," Mark frowned at the man, "Addison has to be going." He looped Addison's arm around his shoulders and began to walk her away. "It was great to meet you."_

"_Hang on a second there, buddy." Phil put his hand on Mark's shoulder a little too tightly for Mark's liking. He turned, trying to keep his composure. He did not like the way that this guy was looking at Addison. Where the hell was Derek?!_

"_Yes?"_

"_Addison and I were just getting better acquainted, weren't we Addie?" Mark watched at Phil's eyes drifted down to ogle Addison's breasts._

"_I don't think so, buddy." Mark practically growled the last word. He could see this was about to turn ugly._

"_Look," Mark was going to try the reasonable approach, "she's here with somebody and we really need to find him and get going."_

_Addison stared blankly at the two men._

"_Well it's obviously not you, why don't I take care of her until he gets here?" Phil reached for Addison._

_Moving Addison out of the other man's reach Mark squared up to the other man, silently wishing that Shep would get his arse into gear and get back to them. "I don't think so."_

_This Phil guy was obviously drunk and not going to give Addie up without some sort of confrontation. Mark hated guys like this. He watched as the lecherous prick grabbed Addison's hand and tried to drag her back into the dark corner they had previously occupied._

_Mark snapped._

"_Mark!" Addison had seemingly sobered._

_Mark turned to her, rubbing his knuckles. Phil was on the floor, groaning and clutching his nose._

"_Mark! What happened?!"_

'_Oh great! Fine time to show up Shep.' Mark thought._

"_This guy was getting a bit too friendly with Addie," he quickly explained, handing his best friend his inebriated girlfriend._

"_Let's go."_

_Phil was slowly rising to his feet and not looking too pleased._

_Supporting Addison between them, the two medical students made their way through the crowd and out of the door as quickly as they could._

"Well they're packed pretty tight in here tonight  
I'm looking for a dolly who'll see me right  
I may use a little muscle to get what I need  
I may sink a little drink and shout out "She's with me!""  
- "Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting", Elton John


	6. Chapter 6

Mark Sloan sighed as he sipped his coffee at the Nurse's Station as he checked his cell phone for the fifth time in as many minutes. He had a hangover.

"Dr. Sloan?"

Oh great! Now that annoyingly arrogant intern – Alex Karev – was at his side. Mark gritted his teeth as he turned to face the young man that had disturbed him.

"What, Karev?" he growled, making the anger in his voice known.

Mark wanted nothing more than to rearrange Karev's face so badly that not even he, the infamous Mark Sloan, could fix it.

"Dr. Bailey assigned me to you today." Karev sounded nervous.

Good.

"Go and get me a bone dry cappuccino."

"Bu-" the intern glanced at the coffee in his hand.

"No 'buts' Karev. Just do it. Or did you not want to scrub in on my Rhytidectomy this afternoon?"

Karev glared at him before turning and storming towards the cafeteria.

Mark Sloan sighed and sipped his coffee. It was lukewarm.  
Today was not going to be a good day.

"_You've got to help me make a stand  
You've just got to see me through another day  
My body's aching and my time is at hand  
And I won't make it any other way__"  
- "Fire And Rain", James Taylor_


	7. Chapter 7

"Knock, knock!"

Addison looked up over her glasses as Dell tapped on her office door.

"Yes, Dell?"

The young man sheepishly edged his way into the room, armed with a chart and a coffee.

"Here's Miss Williams' chart and the coffee that you asked for." He set both down on the desk in front of her.

Addison's eyes went back to the journal that she had been studying. "Thank you, Dell."

Dell shuffled out of the room.

Addison took a deep breath and sipped her coffee.  
It was lukewarm.  
It wasn't going to be a good day.

Sighing she leant back in her office chair and closed her eyes, willing her hangover to subside.

"_Slip inside the eye of your mind  
Don't you know you might find  
A better place to play...__"  
- "Don't Look Back In Anger", Oasis_


	8. Chapter 8

_Addison pouted. "Can't you get someone to cover you? Please?"_

"_I'm sorry, Addie," Derek replied, "Dr. Morris is letting me scrub in on a DBS Implantation; I've never seen one done before."_

"_Oh come on Derek! It's not as though they're rare!"_

_Derek glared at his girlfriend. "Addie."_

_Her blue eyes glared back._

"_Why don't you ask Mark to go with you?_

"_Mark! He'll be busy with Tish, or Trish, or whatever her name is...."_

"_I'll call him." Derek reached for his cell and hit three on the speed dial before she had time to protest._

_Addison rolled her eyes._

_Twenty minutes later Derek was leaving to go back to the hospital and Mark was on his way over._

"_I'll see you later Addie, have a good time. I love you." He kissed the top of her head._

"_I'd love you more if you were coming with me." She replied._

_Derek smiled at her. "You'll be with Mark. You'll have a great time."_

_And before she could reply, he was out of the door._

* * *

_Addison wasn't a huge fan of the Charity Events that her parents threw. Not that she didn't love getting dressed up; it would just be nicer if her boyfriend was here and hadn't sent his best friend in his place. She sighed._

"_Oh come on Addie," Mark grinned at her, "you just got me out of a date with Tish, or Trish, or whatever her name is. Cheer up."_

_She glared at him as he took her arm in his and they walked into the marquee._

"_Plus there's a free bar." He winked at her._

"_Oh shut up, Mark!"_

_As they entered her parents approached them, Bizzy looking uptight; as usual._

"_I see Derek couldn't make it, again."_

"_Hi Mom. Dad."_

* * *

_Four martinis later Mark found her at the bar._

"_This seat taken?"_

_Addison shrugged and Mark took it as a cue to sit. He nodded at the barman and acquired a scotch on the rocks. He sipped it and turned to the woman sat next to him. Her makeup was perfect, the dress she wore – black, knee length and figure hugging – perfect. He smirked at her._

"_How many of those have you had?"_

_Addison laughed, "I think this is my fifth?"_

_The bartender nodded in agreement._

"_Come on Addie, just because Shep couldn't make it doesn't mean you have to drown yourself in martinis tonight."_

_Addison wobbled on her stool a little as she turned to face him. As she leant in closer in order to respond he could smell the alcohol on her breath; and see, not that he was looking, halfway down her dress. Mark sipped his drink._

"_Well what do you propose we do then, Mr. Sloan?"_

_Mark looked around the room._

"_We could dance?"_

_Addison snorted. "You don't dance."_

"_I do if it's with you." He purred at her._

_She chuckled, her laughter making him grin. "Oh yes! At that God awful party!"_

_He nodded at her._

"_Well then, Mr. Sloan, I accept your offer." She slid off her stool and took the hand that was offered to her..._

_Hand in hand they swayed together to a song that they both knew but neither could name. Addison's eyes sparkled and she laughed as Mark told her stories of when he and Derek were small and had gotten into trouble at school for throwing snowballs at a teacher's car._

_Without realising it, she had suddenly stopped missing Derek.  
And Mark had realised that there was nowhere else he'd rather be..._

_...certainly not with Tish, or Trish, or whatever her name was..._

"You know the night's magic  
Seems to whisper and hush  
And all the soft moonlight  
Seems to shine in your blush..."  
- "Moondance", Van Morrison


	9. Chapter 9

As soon as the door to her house clicks shut behind her she crumples to the floor and hugs her knees tightly to her chest. She'd lost another one. She'd done everything right – everything she could - and still the tiny life that had clung so tightly to her finger whilst lying in the incubator six hours previously had been snuffed out.

With shaking hands she rifled through her Prada purse, searching for her cell phone. She found it and, with shaking hands, began to scroll down through her Contacts List until a familiar name and number appeared in front of her blurry eyes.

She pressed the call button. It rang once.

It rang once and suddenly she was catapulted to the days of Medical School where he would hold her as she cried over the loss of a patient. How he brought her juju and ice cream – Strawberry Cheesecake – to cheer her up. When Derek was "_too busy_".

It rang once.

Suddenly terrified of what might happen if he actually answered she cancelled the call. She turned off her phone. She flung it across the room as though it had burned her.

Addison Montgomery was **not** going to call Mark Sloan.  
No matter how much she needed to.

"_What is love but the strangest of feelings,  
A sin you swallow for the rest of your life?  
You've been looking for someone to believe in  
To love you until your eyes run dry"  
- "Wire to Wire", Razorlight_


	10. Chapter 10

Rhinoplasty was nothing to Mark Sloan. He could do one in his sleep. He is halfway through this "simple" procedure when he thinks he sees his cell phone flash out of the corner of his eye. It's on a high table somewhere to his right. He dismisses it as the lights in the operating theatre glinting off something metallic and turns back to his patient.

An hour and a half later he is out of surgery and, having scrubbed out, is making his way towards the cafeteria for a cup of the most revolting coffee known to man. But he needs it – he's doing the night shift.

Mark Sloan avoids the elevators in Seattle Grace Hospital like the plague now. Only bad things can happen in those elevators. So he takes the stairs. Halfway up, on a landing, he suddenly remembers his cell phone flashing in the OR and he stops.

The name on the screen makes his heart stop.

"Addison." He whispers to himself, and shoves the phone back into the pocket of his white coat.

It's quarter to seven.  
He wants to go to Joe's and drink until he's too drunk to see the screen of his cell phone. But then again he knows her number by heart and would be far more likely to call her from the phone in his hotel room. (No, he's still not moved out.)

He starts up the stairs again with a new found desire for a cup of the most revolting coffee known to man...

As he reviews the charts in the rack twenty minutes later he prays that tonight is going to be busy.  
Awful, he knows.

But anything to keep him from thinking of her.

"_Gravity is working against me  
And gravity,  
Wants to bring me down."  
- "Gravity", John Mayer_


End file.
